The Help of Silence - Advent 2
Sometimes it’s helpful to shut us up from the limiting things we tell ourselves.
Sometimes the only way we can find what to say is from the deep reservoir of not saying anything.
One time an angel appeared to an old man and said that he and his old lady were going to get pregnant. In the world of unlikely possibilities, this is high up there. Not because we can’t solve this currently with modern scientific techniques, but mostly because infertility is an impossibly hard conversation to navigate.
“Who’s fault?”
“Your equipment? Mine?”
“What are we doing wrong?”
“Are we not good enough? Are we cursed?”
… til eventually you put that conversation to rest.
How long had this conversation been put to rest?
How painful was it for a heavenly stranger to bring up such an intimate conversation between two earthly beings?
The angel tells old man Zach that they’re going to get pregnant, which Zach responds, “How can this be since I am old?”
which is to say “it’s been a long time since I could do anything about this”
which is to say “my wife and I don’t talk about this anymore”
Which is to say “I can’t take another heartbreak like that.”
Apparently the Spiritual Realm doesn’t mind talking about all the hidden stuff of a human heart because everything that is hidden will be brought into the Light.
The angel is offended at such a limiting statement about age in the Light of Eternal Possibility and hands out the consequence of silence… of not being able to speak…which can seem like a harsh punishment but maybe actually the intimate gift one needs in dealing with painful conversations…
Because sometimes it’s helpful to shut us up from the limiting things we tell ourselves.
I know this is an old and specific ancient story but I can’t stop thinking about it of late… which is another way of saying it’s a story still happening today.
I am not a man burdened by insemination incompletion. I have three kids as evidence to this argument. But I am a man, a human, who has bumped up against the weaknesses and limitations that are part of a human life…
which is another way of saying
“there is so much out of our hands that we’re not in control of”
Which is another way of saying
“I might not have what it takes to change what needs to change”
Which is another way of saying
“If this is only about will power and meritocracy, I’m a lost cause.”
These are some of the hidden conversations of a human heart. They are the deep musings behind many of our existential disappointments. But what I find compelling is that the surprise of the spiritual journey is that the main ingredients of transformation are nothing we’re really in charge of. Just doorways we must go through. Doorways like
Birth
Death
Rebirth.
It’s nothings that’s up to you. It just happens to you.
And maybe the only way to receive these transformational doorways is through the gift of silence. The gift of not having to define what’s happening,
but to be refined by what’s happening.
When Zach’s son is eventually born, the community asks the new elderly parents what family name he wants to give the boy. His wife said “John” and everyone scoffs at the idea. But Zach, out of months of silence, corroborates the idea by writing, “His name is John.”
Which is another way of saying “I believe in what’s happening to me”
Which is another way of saying “I see now that life can come out of barren places”
Which is another way of saying “I believe in God”
Because often we only witness the
holy invisible mystery we call “God”
in the
costume of our human circumstances.
These meditations are a freely given visual offering for this Advent season.
Thank you for following along.
Most of them originated from my book Honest Advent….
Which is available where all books are sold.
Thank you for this.