a pep talk for the crossroads
i can see you're at a crossroads....
(To be read with the instrumental of “Tha Crossroads” being played in the background)
“Bone Thugs N Harmony wrote this song for their deceased friend Wally and then for Easy E… and even though you’re not dead yet….
I can see you’re at tha crossroads.
Beloved,
You’ve come to the end of the path you can understand
And you’re terrified of making the wrong choice.
Or even worse, that there is really no choice at all.
You’ve thought that you outlived God’s plan for your life
Like all you’re getting from the universe about what’s next for your life is an apologetic:
“Sorry!
I didn’t think you’d get this far. I guess I’m out of plans for you!
Oh sheesh my bad.
I’m super swamped right now with all the masterbating going on.
So I’m sorry, but you’re on your own from now on. Best of luck.”
Look
I know the universe is huge,
And at times callous and silent
and I know that the universe will go on without us
and we could die needlessly in a ditch somewhere
and Nature wouldn't care
She would just grow over our cadaver with moss and dandelions and would consume us back into the dust in which we came.
but that doesn't change the paradoxical truth that you have agency to change the universe
right now if you saw my pain
if you looked at me
and you comforted me
and you gave me a hug
that would do something to me
that it would revive me.
It would give me hope
it would rekindle a flame that I lost
I would be awakened again
we have the power to awaken one another
and that is a power that is most needed today
Not only in our vocation
But in our relationships
our community
In our divided togetherness
and here’s the truth
the only way you're going to see that my flame is out.
Is if You understand what it feels like
to have your flame go out.
Look
You’re at a crossroads
Not because you have nothing left to offer
But because the deeper treasure of you
Needs to be dug out.
And digging hurts.
Because it only happens if you’re willing to be humbled
To get low
To get off your first place olympic pedestal
And descend into the depths of what it means to be alive.
Even Jesus descended into hell
Into the realm where all our illusions are dissolved
He was torn apart and put back together
Received his transformation
And came back from death
to turn this Tragedy into a comedy
And you’re being asked to go through the same thing too.
Maybe the question of the crossroads
Is not
What decision do I need to make
But
What needs to die
So that something can live?
Do you have anything you’d like to say?
Do you have anything that you’d like to explore?
Do you have anything you’d like to care about?
I understand that the crossroads
One feels lost
And without words
And doesn’t know how to articulate what they want next
So if you’ll let me
Could I say something?
Even though it was hard, I don’t ever regret that decisions that I had to make at the crossroads.
To accept the gift of my incarnation
To forgive my A-Hole brother
To never turn down a plate of nachos
To try to be a professional artist
To learn to skateboard in my late 20’s
To not get bitter
To be curious
To cry freely whenever I need too
To lose my faith to find it again
To go to therapy
To memorize a poem
To commit to loving and being loved by another evolved ape
To tell my story publicly
To not run away
To admit it’s ridiculous and true that I love the invisible Christ that I find hiding out in everything
To be kind to my aging parents
To know it’s ok to say “I don’t know”
To unabashedly believe in the power of a back ground musical track.
To writing you this note.
Beloved,
You’re not lost
You’re just at the crossroads of…..
Who you thought you were
What you thought you were capable of doing
How you thought your life was going to turn out.
And You being here
Enters you into the great cloud of witnesses
Of everyone else who found themselves
At the crossroads
Of is life a blessing or a curse.
“So we’ll see at the crossroads…
So you wont be lonely.”
As bone thugs said.
And they’re right
You’re not alone.
Look at everyone around .
You got this.
You really do.
And one day
You’ll be back here
But not as one who is lost
But as one who can
Help another pilgrim
Along the way.”
click here if you want to watch it on Instagram
Hair blown back
Eyes open
Here for it
wow.